BIOGRAPHY OF POSH

Biography

Victoria Adams was born April 1974. She does not like being called Vicky. Instead, call her Posh, which stands for the best of everything (an old luxury liner term, P.O.S.H. stood for “Port Out, Starboard Home”– the best rooms). Growing up, she didn’t like being driven to school in her father’s Rolls Royce (they were very wealthy; later, as Posh, she would have an image of someone who revels in wealth). Victoria began as a dancer before eventually landing a spot as a member of the Spice Girls. While in college, Victoria was briefly in another band. After completing the 3-year course at Lanie Arts, she answered an ad in “The Stage” magazine, which was looking for 5 girls who could sing and dance. Victoria was picked, history was about to be made. (Victoria had met: Emma who had been in a play with her when they were kids; Geri while auditioning for a role in “Tank Girl”; Mel C. attended a rival school when they were 15; and Mel B. at the audition for the forming of the band.) The Spice Girls became fantastically successful, achieving international fame. The wildly popular Spice Girls performed at sold-out concerts, did tours, and of course the “Spice World” movie. Victoria married soccer player David Beckham, and they had a son in 1999.

BRITNEY IN A BIG PROB

Lil’ Bow Wow’s latest venture, Britney money troubles and so so much more

by Our Hollywood correspondent

The word in Tinseltown has it that Lil’ Bow Wow has signed up to star in the sequel to “Like Mike”, this summer’s family hit in which the 14-year-old artist became an NBA legend after finding a pair of Michael Jordan’s magical Nikes.

Initial reports from 20th Century Fox indicate that in “Like Mike 2″ the pint-sized rapper chances upon a pair of Mike Tyson’s old boxing gloves and spends the remainder of the movie raping minor celebrities and biting people’s ears off.

My sources tell me Britney Spears was shocked this week when she discovered her very own fan club is operating a “Bankrupt Britney” campaign. The club is encouraging all members to boycott all Britney concerts and products including CDs, clothing and make-up, with the ultimate aim of cutting off her cash flow entirely.

“Britney is just so confused,” the pop idol’s close friends confided. “She doesn’t understand why her fans would do this to her.”

The Los Angeles Police Department admitted Thursday that, despite the best efforts of a two-year-long investigation into the matter, they still have no idea how Alan Cumming became so famous.

“It still beats the hell outa me,” LAPD Chief Ramsey Lewis said. “One minute he’s playing a faggy Scotch flight attendant in a BBC2 sitcom, next thing he’s banging Jennifer Jason Leigh and dropping E with Gwyneth Paltrow.”

Cumming’s agent could not confirm a report in Variety that, in his next movie, Cumming will play a contraceptive gnome living inside Rosie O’Donnell’s uterus.

Hugh Heffner confirmed this week that he’s now offering Ms Spears up to $2m to show her tits off in a Playboy centerfold.

Patrick “Jean-Luc Picard” Stewart this week sensationally revealed that, despite a string of hit movies over the last decade, it is still impossible to place him in a Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon chain without first going through Mel Gibson, with whom he co-starred in 1999 political thriller Conspiracy Theory.

“A lot of people think you can get from me to Kevin via Halle (‘X-Men’ Berry),” Stewart said on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. “But if they try that route, they’re only going to hit a Crispin Glover wall or get stuck in a recurring John Goodman loop.”

Joseph Fiennes has signed up to play himself in the eagerly anticipated sequel to “Shakespeare In Love”, Hollywood sources say.

“Joseph Fiennes In Love” will explore the weeks leading up to Fiennes’ decision to play the troubled bard in the original movie, and will consist primarily of long, lingering shots of the actor stroking his goatee in front of a full-length mirror.

Leonardo DiCaprio’s balls dropped last Tuesday. However, eyewitnesses say he still looks like a fuc*king kid.

Brave, brave, brave Charlton Heston last week announced to the world that he has been diagnosed with early symptoms of Alzheimers disease. But the couragous, noble Ben Hur star told reporters that he will continue his acting work as long as possible.

In his first film role, currently in preproduction under the working title “Guns Don’t Kill People, People Kill People”, the NRA spokesperson will play a drooling, wheelchair-bound Oscar-winner who is obliged to atone for the deaths of thousands by seeing what kind of bodycount he can rack up in 90 minutes without a gun